My Narrator is a part of me.
Some people see images some people have a Narrator
To talk them through what they’re doing and reminding them that everything is okay
My Narrator is my friend and a part of me. Nothing to be afraid of unlike those critical voices in my head. Telling me I’m not good enough telling me I’m stupid. Passing judgement and casting doubt on everything I do.
Someone once told me: you are a bright girl Zinzi but I did not believe them because of the voices in my head.
That somebody told me “your anxiety and your depression do not define you.”
I did not believe them. Their words could not drown out the noise in my head.
But now a year later, I’ve been getting some help. I’m learning how to control those voices in my head. I’m not so vulnerable and I know what’s real and what’s not.
I am starting to take back control, from those critiques in my head
I have found my Narrator and they have replaced the voices in my head
Sure, my narrator does not always get it right and sometimes they tell me I am not doing it right. But I know I can trust them.
I can control and manage my anxiety and my depression. They don’t have to control me.
My panic attacks are no longer as scary and I am no longer overwhelmed.
My legs do not turn to jelly and I am no longer feeling sick and unable to move.
I am kinder to myself and no longer feel the need to hurt myself
I sometimes wonder whether I could’ve done more to make myself do the things I didn’t want to do, to go to school, to go to work, to go out of the house
I sometimes wonder whether I will look back and wish I’d got the support that I needed, much earlier than this.
One step at a time Zinzi, my Narrator says
Someone once said to me: I don’t want you to look back and think “I wish I’d done more, to learn to get my qualifications. Don’t let your anxiety and your depression stop you from being the best that you can be. You are more than your depression and your anxiety.”
They said, “You can be and do anything you want to be. You are in control of the voices in your head.”
Guess what, for once I can believe them. There is hope in place of the critics and darkness.
One step at a time Zinzi, my Narrator says
I have something to live for
Someone to believe in.
And that someone is me.
After all that is all that matters and that is all I need.
#MentalHealth #Narrator #Depression #Anxiety #EmotionalRegulation #Parents #Therapy #CBT #Counselling #Psychologist #Psychology
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